PoliceCat Sells Out!
Posted Sat Mar 1, 10:38 AM by Alex Fernie
So, I know that I promised we’d be back soon, but…you know what? Things happen.
And what happened? Well, I’ll tell you.
We sold out.
That’s right. We completely sold out. A little while ago, PoliceCat got hired to make some online videos the featured Cheetos. Yep. Little baby “viral” commercials. So we did. Now I know what you’re going to say. “But WHY, PoliceCat? Why did you do that?! Surely you don’t like Cheetos that much!” To which I answer “They paid us.”
It’s actually been really fun. We’ve pretty much been able to make whatever weird little sketch we’ve wanted. Below is the first one we made, featuring both myself and Mr. Berg. Check it out!
Back From The Dead
Posted Fri Jan 18, 03:46 PM by Alex Fernie
Hey, remember when we had a new sketch every week? Those days were great!
And then the Final Cut gremlins had to come and fuck everything up.
Well, now we’re finally back online and ready to get some new stuff up for you. Fear not. Now that the ultra-high tech (as of 2003) PoliceCat editing bay is back online, we can give you the brand new sketch comedy that you’ve been craving.
As a wise man once said, “All eyes on me.” PoliceCat will be back at ya in the next week or so, with brand new videos and some pretty cool stuff. Do you like Cheetos? Well, apparently, we do!
In the mean time, check out UCBComedy.com . It’s a brand new hub of comedy videos from the minds of Upright Citizens Brigade.
We love you,
PoliceCat
Merry Christmas from PoliceCat!
Posted Mon Dec 24, 06:22 PM by Alex Fernie
Christmas time is here. Happiness and cheer!
Berg’s with his family in Connecticut and I’m with mine in Georgia, but that doesn’t mean PoliceCat can sleep. No, sir.
Since it’s the holiday season and Christmas is tomorrow (only 3 more shopping hours until…) we’d like to give you something sure to put you in the yuletide spirit.
So, for you enjoyment, here are
QUOTES FROM IT’S A WONDERFUL LIFE THAT SOUND DIRTY OUT OF CONTEXT!
Joe: “I don’t suppose you’d like this old second-hand job, would you?”
Carter: “Now, I’d like to finish up with you tonight.”
George: “Say, what kind of a teacher are you anyway? What do you mean sending her home like that, half-naked?”
George: “Mary, you on the nest?”
Mary: “Go on, Pete, you’re a big boy. you can put the star up. Way up at the top. That’s it. Fill in that little bare spot right there. That’s it.”
Sam: “Harry! You’re the guy I want to see. Coach has heard all about you…and his mouth’s watering.”
Happy Holidays!
Things I Learned in Europe
Posted Wed Nov 28, 04:19 PM by Alex Fernie
Recently, I made a two week jaunt across the continent of Europe. Perhaps you’ve heard of it? I saw many amazing things that you don’t get here in Los Angeles. Exotic things like buildings pre-dating the theatrical release of Bedtime For Bonzo. Buildings where you can smoke..INDOORS! Functional public transportation systems!
It was like I stumbled through the looking glass, and when I came through, I found baguettes, tight jeans and adorable accents.
So here, in words and pictures, are some things I learned while traveling through fair Europa.
Item #1: The most startling thing to me was how everyone in England drives cars that are clearly derived from the same technology that gave Wonder Woman her jet. I’m not sure how this amazing advance in invisible automobiles hasn’t “Crossed the pond” (That’s what they say! Aren’t the precious?), but I am very interested in purchasing one. On the down side, it makes parallel parking nigh on impossible.
Item #2: There is not nearly as much stabbing, netting and chariot-ing in the Coliseum as one would like. There ARE, however, a large number of German people.
Item #3: Frequently, Indiana Jones will go into some ancient tunnel looking for some artifact (that belongs in a museum!) and come across a lot of bones and skulls. Maybe they got trapped there. Maybe they got crushed in some sort of shrinking room. Maybe they chose…poorly. Either way, he isn’t phased when confronted with rows and rows of human remains. Heck, he’ll even jump into a coffin to protect himself from a wall of flame set by creepy shriners. I learned under the streets of Paris, however, that no matter how much you think you steeled yourself, dead people are creepy. And when they’re all lined up, staring at you with gaping eye holes…I don’t know how Junior does it.
Item #4: People in Paris would much rather stand around and watch a guy painted silver stand still than watch a clown do magic tricks and make balloon animals. By my informal count, approximately 60 chose silver-guy and exactly 0 chose the clown. Also, it just makes the clown sadder when you take a photograph of him looking forlornly at his more popular, metallic competitor
Item #5: Most importantly I learned that people in London watch a show called Food Poker. Its name accurately describes the show.
And THAT’S what I learned in Europe.
Hey! I've seen that one before, too!
Posted Mon Nov 19, 12:01 AM by Alex Berg
Friends-We here at PoliceCat strive to film, cut, and upload a new skit for you to watch every week. Most weeks, we succeed. Some weeks, we do not. Therefore, it saddens us to report that this is a "some" week, not a "most" week.
Berg's computer is a fickle mistress. Most weeks, it gladly accepts any and all footage we throw it's way. Some weeks, it accepts nothing. Lucky for you, we're SO prolific that you can see sketch comedy from other troupes we work with during these some weeks, and in that vein we present to you Ghost Hunters, a Thirty :30 original short:
We're working on fixing this nunsense, don't worry.
Happy Thanksgiving!
-PoliceCat
Sayyy.... That Skit's Not New! What gives?!?
Posted Mon Nov 12, 12:00 AM by PoliceCat
Well folks, due to the success of it's initial performance, our live stage show Thirty :30 is being given another go-round. What this means to you, the viewer, is that your new skit this week is a Thirty :30 original. And now, without further ado, we present to you A Man With An Octopus On His Face:Thirty :30 is a live sketch collaboration between Alex Berg, Mel Cowan, Todd Fasen, Alex Fernie, and Kevin Pedersen. We make our home at the Los Angeles branch of the Upright Citizen's Brigade Theater, who will be hosting our shows in November. If you live in Los Angeles, come check it out!
November 14th @ 8:00 (with special guest Chad Fogland!)
November 29th @ 8:00
Halloween Special: Todd Fasen's Thriller
Posted Wed Oct 31, 11:06 AM by Alex Berg
Remember Todd Fasen? That Harry Potter-looking fellow who's showed up in The Report, Blind Faith, and Take My Photo? Well, Todd was making movies since before he was friends with PoliceCat- way before. Here's proof:Todd's the leading lad with all the right moves. Enjoy!
Happy Halloween!
Posted Mon Oct 29, 05:59 AM by PoliceCat
Boo.
It’s the week of Halloween. That means the streets are filled with devils and zombies, the kids are filled with Snickers and Sweetarts and cable is filled with Halloween, Friday the 13th and Nightmare on Elm Street sequels that cost under ten buck to get the rights to.
What better way to celebrate Frankenstein, Dracula and Henry Kissinger’s favorite holiday than with PoliceCat’s spookiest videos. We’ve got hauntings and pixies and blood galore. Ghosts and costumes and conversations with the dead. All to get you in the perfect mood for scary parties with girls dressed as slutty whatevers.
Light some candles, play some creepy theremin music and enjoy. But don’t say we didn’t warn you!
Trick or Treat,
-PoliceCat
PS What’s that? PoliceCat, you say? You were reading something typed by PoliceCat. That’s impossible! Why, they died in a terrible tractor fire over twenty years ago! Ooooooohhhhh!!!! Spooooooooky!
Thoughts on Wildfires
Posted Mon Oct 22, 12:27 PM by Alex Fernie
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
Thank you.
Help Us Defeat Jimmy Fallon
Posted Mon Oct 15, 07:01 PM by Alex Berg
Ladies and Gentlemen- For the first time since it's inception, PoliceCat is in a position to unequivocally prove that we are better than Jimmy Fallon.
Our enemy steeles himself for battle
How? It's simple. We have for months been uploading to FunnyOrDie.com, and have thus developed a bit of a presence/reputation on that site.
So has Jimmy Fallon.
The difference? As of this writing, Jimmy Fallon has 21 users subscribing to his videos. PoliceCat has 18. If we can get four more users to subscribe to our videos, we will have quantitative proof that we are better than Jimmy Fallon.
Here's how you can help us beat Jimmy Fallon:
- If you haven't got one already, go make a user profile at FunnyOrDie.com.
- Click here to open up our member profile page.
- Subscribe to our videos.
Together, we can do this. We can beat Jimmy Fallon.
Thank you for your time and your patronage,
-PoliceCat
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